So today I saw a picture of a T-shirt and it hit me. The shirt says “Don’t Bro me unless you know me”. It made me think of a few things. I have so many friends that are not or have never served in the military of any kind. Of course I in no way hold that against them. The military isn’t for everyone! That is a fact! But it brings me to this point. If a Soldier, Marine, Navy or Air force calls you brother…..You better respect that! It means something entirely different to us than it does to those who have not gone through what we have.

                It may seem trivial or inconsequential but it really isn’t. To us Brother-hood is something earned and then respected for life! No matter what happens we are there for each other. If you have a veteran as a friend, cherish that! Understand that it is a living breathing thing! For a lot of us it is hard to even put ourselves out there anymore. To extend and open up to new friendships is almost impossible. Not all of us, but most of us, come back damaged or having left part of ourselves in a foreign country. Left there to die and wither with the ones who never came home at all! I have random nights, days or moments where all of the sudden I have what is called an intrusive memory. And for the life of me I cannot get it out of my head. I just replay it over and over.

                I have conversations that get me upset, angry, livid even, and in my head during it I am yelling at myself, “why are you so angry?” or “dude, there is no reason to be yelling”. But on the outside I am exploding! I hate what I have become. I hate the fact that my family is going through all of this. I spend days and days where I don’t even want to leave the house. If I could grow and harvest everything my family needs to sustain I would never leave my home! And would be totally comfortable with this! Don’t get me wrong, I am not searching for pity. This is in an attempt to educate and enlighten what some of us go through. When I was diagnosed with PTSD I was more of like “really, this is why I am so P*ssed all the time?”

                It was almost a feeling of vindication. I know that a lot of this doesn’t make sense. But that itself is part of what it is like as well!

Thanks for paying attention!

God Bless!

               Image

Advertisements